From The Google

24 Comments

Yesterday Google sent me the following question “Why don’t women trust?

The simple answer is Bristol Palin.

Bristol Palin Close Up

Well, to clarify, I can only really answer why women don’t trust me. The answer to that is Bristol Palin. Tender, thick, dangerous if under-prepared–like a pork chop–Bristol.

I have some very understanding friends. I have largely received grudging nods to my point that she is 19, so, clearly of age. I also seen suppressed giggles when I assert that clearly she puts out (see: Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston).

Recently I think I took my “say what is on your mind” frankness too far when I asserted that Bristol probably looks like the following picture under her polka-dot dress.

bristol palin swimsuit

Except, you know, with yearling wolf pelt lining and a Raised in Alaska tattoo.

I think that laying sweet Bristol down onto the cream and sage floral print sheets of my IKEA futon mattress is one of the few things that would make even me feel a little dirty. but, it’s a fun thought and something that no girl, thus far, has been willing to role play.

And that is why women don’t trust me.

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24 Responses to “From The Google”

  1. Chasing Bristol Palin < I Do Things

    […] 27 minutes! between Bristol Palin’s smooshy boobies? For those of you who are looking for Bristol in a bikini. Share and […]

    Reply
  2. jake

    Looks like another REAL BAD photoshop chop job for the bikini pic…of course, i’m sure the author is a real babe……yuk

    Reply
  3. Jack Burton

    I love people who like to call out Photoshop even though they’ve never used the program and have no idea how to work a camera.

    Reply
  4. Brooke

    This is a perfect example of jealousy and ignorance. It’s not called “putting out” when you’ve been dating the boy for a while. It’s called HUMAN INSTINCT.

    Reply
    • Carlos

      Thank you Brooke for correcting my sexual vernacular. I will take that into consideration the next time that I discuss my lurid daydreams about minor celebrities.

      Reply
    • Meem

      Since there is so many fields of seipealtics that I have a choice of, I still really can’t choose one. So I am going base on my personal experiences. My original goal back in high school and maybe even before that, was to work in a Neonatal ICU! I had a brother that passed before he had his first birthday from heart complications, and that year I spent a lot of time at hospitals with my parents. My goal the first couple of years was to work with babies just like him. That was until I had my own children, I would of still loved to have worked in that career field but the heart ache I would most likely endure when one of those babies did not make it home. I could not have handled!On to more positive experiences, I have worked with the elderly and Geriatrics interests me very much. Being surrounded with people that have lived a fulfilled life is so much more rewarding. Even though at times it is the ending stages of their lives, and it is sad when someone does pass. It’s less of a heartache to know that most of the time they are ready to move on. They are still very dependent on you and when you are able to help them with their needs that’s the most rewarding of all, plus you form a special relationship with the patients and their families.

      Reply
  5. Brooke

    Oh, and did I mention you’re an idiot and have NO life. You should look into finding one instead of pondering and wasting your time over someone else’s life. It’s not yours to live.

    Reply
  6. aaron

    bristol palin looks hotin
    that swimsuit next time she should take it off and swimm nude. one time went to seal beach with my friend he and me were nude so instead we took
    off our swimsuits and
    shirt and socks and plus shoes and took a naked skinn dip

    Reply
  7. Holy Birth-Scandal Batman | I Do Things

    […] over the last 3 years. Well, maybe, I do have something funny to say: Trig does look more like Bristol than […]

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  8. Brayan

    Hi Soapbox,So you’re supporting a Republican who is runinng for Congress. That’s cool, yet what I’m having trouble understanding is why you are having so much trouble voting Republican in relation to the Presidency. If it is for the sake of making a Conservative Statement, well, the way I see it, the Conservatives have been making a statement and it has been loud enough to effect McCain’s decision of who to pick of VP Running Mate. The Statement has already been made and received, so what continues to be the problem?The chastising comment was directed at those who might encourage me not to interact with you. It was not directed at you.There isn’t any way to change who McCain is. All we can do is try and influence at least some of his decisions and Sarah Palin is going to be a continuous thorn in his side in relation to Conservative Values. Praise God!!As long as the Republican Party as a whole realizes that the Conservative wing of their party exists and should not be ignored, this satisfies me. Making a statement by voting for a Third Party Candidate can not accomplish any more than this either.Haha! Did I convert you to lemonade, Soap? 🙂 I thought you preferred beer. On the other hand, if you drank just a little more lemonade for political reasons, that might have a slight effect on the economy, at least in relation to lemons. Poor example, I know, yet you get my drift.

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    Thanks for taking the time to post. It’s lifted the level of debate

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