Have you seen this man?

Christoper Alan Glein

I last saw him the week of July 21st. We made tentative plans to get together last weekend, but when I called him I got his answering machine. I tried texting him a few hours later, but nothing. Not even a friendly “got your message.”

I have known him since we were 10 years old. We have shared many formative moments together, not in a gay way. I have come to consider him a true, and dear, friend that I thought would be around forever. However, it has now been 5 days, and I fear the worst: Ninjas, Dinosaurs, or maybe even death. Well, probably not death considering he wrote 3 blogs this week, I think that is his personal record.

Anyway he likes comic book movies, video games, zombies and girlie drinks. So, you will probably find him: a.) at Cinerama, b.) festering in his own juices cradling an xbox 360 controller, or c.) in a graveyard looking helpless. Christopher is very skittish so approach him slowly. If you give him a cosmo, or other girl drink, with rohypnol he will fall asleep like a cheerleader.

Chris is about six foot one and weighs… I don’t actually know but it is, but, probably a lot, so you should bring a hand truck, or something, to haul him. If he has died, and his ghost wrote those blog posts he is survived by his adoring fiancé Jessica Totten.

I am willing to give a reward to anyone who brings him to me, obvious more if he is alive, or for information as to his whereabouts.

Chris, if you are dead I promise to give you a eulogy your mother will never forgive me for.

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