Text flirting, or sexting, is all the rage in the media. Unfortunately they are focusing on amateurs, like teenage picture takers and celebrities.
Let’s use Tiger Woods as an example. What Tiger said, “I will wear you out…when was the last time you got fucked”
Rose sums up the Tiger’s issue pretty well:
While this is probably not an isolated sext. I suspect they’re all this weak, which is the problem with celebrities. They think they don’t have to work at seduction, and they’re too often right.
So, how do you sext your way to seduction?
Your best option is to practice, but don’t practice on your phone. Practice with paper. The beginners course is formulas that you can use to get started and find out where you have the best traction.
Sexting 101: Mad Libs
Remember that these text are about them. Specifically the things you want to do to them because of the uncontrollable desire they produce in you. Start by using I want. Once you have that down pepper your messages with synonyms, like need, have and must. Also, avoid emoticons and ellipses, they water down your message.
- I want to put my__(Body Part)__in your__(Body Part)__.
- I want to put your__(Body Part)__in my__(Body Part)__.
- I want to__(Verb)__ your__(Body Part)__.
- I want to__(Verb)__ my__(Body Part)__(over|in|through|against) your __(Body Part)__ .
- I want to__(Verb)__ your__(Body Part)__with my__(Body Part)__until you __(Verb)__.
- I need to__(Verb)__ your__(Body Part)__with you up on__(Large Object)__in the __(Location)__.
A note on body parts: remember you are trying to be sexy so steer away from medical or juvenile naming, unless you are trying to be funny.
Sexting 202: Free-form and Similes
Now that you are comfortable with the basics stop restricting yourself to body parts. You can use any noun, however there are some nouns that are better than others. Consider the picture that words paint:
- Pickle vs Cucumber
- Little General vs Conquering Soldier
- Curtain Rod vs Garden Hose
Also, start adding modifiers:
I want to_(Verb)_ your_(Noun)__with my__(Noun)__until you __(Verb)__on my floor.
Similes, like statements, are another way to spice up your spicy texts. Start off simple and then try mixing them in with your other skills.
I want to__(Verb)__you like a__(Noun)__.
A bit more flowery:
Sexting 303: Have Fun, But Be Smart
Now that you have some patterns you will quickly learn the limitations of the formulas. You will definitely find that adding modifiers to your Nouns and Verbs help paint a better picture, but don’t modify everything. The best modifications are sensations: warm, salty, firm etc.
Remember that sexting is mental. So, consider your goal and audience. Are you trying to be sexy or dirty? If the goal is dirty go with explicit. If you want better sexy results be implicit, rather than graphic, because engaging your readers mind makes it sexier.
- I want to wear you like a tight fitting coat.
- I want to wrap you around me.
- I hope you have been stretching lately, b/c I just learned something new on the Internet.
- I want to hump you into a puddle.
- I’m going to plow you like a new england field.
- Go buy a beach towel. Tonight you are going to get messy.
For another perspective you can watch James Lipton’s advice on sexting:
And if you just can’t do it on you own I will write one for you.