photo credit: gogogadgetscott
Today is a special day in the del Rio house. Dita Lily “Pickle” del Rio turns two today. As my gift to her, and you, I am allowing her to answer a question I overheard at the Sasquatch Festival.
How the f*ck was cheese invented?
-Overheard
When asked Dita responds like this:
So like 10,000 years ago someone looked at a cow [ed. note: more likely a goat or sheep] and said “Self, we should squeeze this creature and drink what comes out.” So this is step one in the process and probably disgusting until they figured out which part of the cow to squeeze. I like the pink bits of the cow. [ed note: the pink bits? Ha!]
She continues:
Back in the olden times they didn’t have plastic containers so they had to store their cow squeezings in other things, like bamboo or animal bellies. One day some person forgot they had cow squeezings and left it for a really long time. When they came back they smelled the chunky stuff in the animal belly and said “This smells horrible, I’m going to put some in my mouth,” and cheese was discovered.
Seriously, cheese smells disgusting. You heard it here first, cheese was the unholy intersection of someone who liked squeezing livestock, someone with a bad memory, and, finally, someone who was willing to stick a chunky substance that smells like feet in their mouth.
Obviously the world is better for cheese, but I can only imagine that the traits that allowed for its discovery also lead to the participants dieing in writhing painful ways (e.g. poisoning or being kicked in the head by a proto-sheep)
