Sometimes love means never letting go:
Sometimes love means giving in:
Love is a strange thing. It crushes, kills and changes everything else. Love isn’t what makes you wake up in the morning — largely that is obligation. Love can’t fix very many things, but it can make you not care. Which for many people is just as good.
Thank you Jason Kelley of photo booth projects, LK, Ashley, and especially Chris and Kara.
photo credit: Tigerlily / * unique魔窟 *
Why are yawns contagious?
-Joanna
I believe that yawns are the result of either a need to equalize pressure in your sinus cavity and ears or the desire to redistribute chemicals in your brain. Some studies suggest yawning is a means of placating nervousness, relieving stress, or alleviating sleepiness.
So they are probably contagious because of some type of pack mentality. By also yawning you put yourself in a similar state as the person you saw yawn. Thus you affirm their state of being and consequently their need for yawnage. It is kind of like involuntary cuddling.
What the hell does kitty-corner mean?
- Alan
If a kitty has corners it generally means that you have broken it some how. In spite of the 5 pointy ends that cats usually display they should not have corners. Cats should be roughly tubular and furry exhibiting slightly smaller tubes extending from the anterior & posterior ends of their central tubes and a significantly smaller furry cylinder extending from their butt.
photo credit: Katie Marie
What is worth getting worked up over?
- Candice
Well I can tell you what isn’t worth getting worked up about — United States. Yeah you heard it here first. We jumped the shark. Sure we have the the fastest computer in the world, but who does that help? Next year they suspect that we will break a petaflop (1000 TRILLION calculations per second) but that doesn’t save the planet.
And you know what else has no planetary weight, your keys. Still I hear people swearing about not being able to find their keys. What is the deal, no one can open you bank account with them, but I guess they could steal your car. But no, stop getting frothy over your keys.
Now I am off topic. I think the only real thing to get worked up about is the safety of your friends and family. I can pretty easily just ignore someone being a jerk to me, but if you are messing with my friends I feel it is pitchforks and posse time.
Oh and finally, no getting worked up over college sports. Every team (other than mine) sucks, they always will end of story — now pass the chips.
I am thinking about taking a new job, but I would have to drive 45 minutes a day to get there. Should I do it?
-Jobseeker
Can you take the bus? If not I think 45 minutes driving is unreasonable and is going to cost you a lot of money. Reading, play a game, or listening to music on the bus/train whatever can be a good way to separate your home life from your work life, but unless you really like driving and paying $3.50 per gallon an hour and a half a day is pretty sucky.
If you are being paid significantly more than the increased cost your should consider it. If you are only considering the new job because you dislike your current job I say quit your current job. Nothing lights a fire under a job search like being unemployed.
Good luck.
How many finger am I holding up?
- Richard, Missouri
Richard, that is an interesting question to ask. Since you are typing it must be less than five, because you need at least one hand to type. If you can type with one hand I have to assume you are either a connoisseur of the adult side of the web, or like to play with firecrackers.
Of course you used the singular in your question, so one might think I should answer one. But, I have never been the kind to take the obvious route. I am going to go out on a limb and say three.
Have you ever broken a bone?
-Kelly
Yes, I have broken several bones. I broke my hand in a fist-fight in the early 90′s, I have broken a toe twice (once on a door and once because of a clumsy fat person), and I broke a rib in a slip-and-slide accident. The ribs were the worst; I had to sleep in a beanbag for a month.
If you can avoid braking a bone I would suggest that you do. Casts are stinky and itchy.
photo credit: mhofstrand
Carlos, how do you set a broken nose?
- Carter
Well I want to preface this with a disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I have, however, promised that I will answer any question and I have taken several anatomy courses. Also I have thoroughly examined several people, more thoroughly than they were probably comfortable with.
So, in my finite wisdom I feel the answer is: very carefully.
I have always wondered how porcupines and hedgehogs mate.
– Katie P.
Okay another disclaimer: I am not a Zoologist, but I have been on a date with one. She told me that most mammals copulate in a manner similar to humans. So, based on that date I speculate that they mate after 2 gin martinis and a glass of wine.
Alright, funny stuff aside I do know how porcupines mate. It turns out that they are kinky little buggers. In the weeks leading up to mating female porcupines rub their part on just about any thing that they can. In response males will stand up on their hind legs in front of one of these receptive females. Then the pees on the female, no joke. If the female is ready to mate she lays down her quills and lets the male mount. Otherwise, she attacks the male or runs away.
Authors Note:
On a personal note I am very amused that I keep being asked how things make babies. I have to say that I often answer these in public place, so if you are in Seattle you may see me having a drink and examining online representations of internal animal systems. Some people have given me smirks and a few have given me VERY dirty looks. Anyway thank you everyone who has contributed a question so far. For everyone else feel free ask questions in the comments or e-mail me at Carlos (at) delriomedia.com.
I am a man in my early 20′s and I have recently accepted the fact that I am gay. When I was in my teens I thought of myself as bisexual and preferential to women, so I never told my parents. Now I feel like I should tell them, since I will probably start dating another man soon. I feel like my parents are pretty liberal, but I am still kind of worried about telling them. How can I tell them with out making it a big deal?
- Keep Me Anonymous
Well, that is an interesting problem. Your problem is not how to tell them, your problem is thinking you have to. Your sex life isn’t any of their business, but telling them that you are not one of the breeders is better than having them hear from someone else. Especially if you are, say, their only opportunity for grandkids.
So your plan is contingent on how good of a relationship you have with your “pretty liberal” parents. Choose the one that you have the best relationship with and single them out. Ask them what they find attractive in a person, that essentially is your in for the conversation.
Now have dinner and drinks with them, drinks are important, while you are in the middle of the evening get one of them to share an embarrassing story. It is important to get this out of the way while they are comfortable. Now share the things about one of your parents that the other one finds attractive. This should make them both pretty happy and thinking sexy thoughts. Now you strike. Nonchalantly share one of those traits that you really like in a man. There is liable to be some confusion here, especially if you are telling your dad something your mom likes about him, but just be prepared with a joke. Reference the embarrassing story from before and them tell the following joke.
Memorize this joke:
Last week I walked into a bar and ordered 5 shots of tequila, the bartender asked why I was getting so many drinks. So, I tell him that I just had my first blow job (or whatever euphemism is appropriate in your family). He told me that if I finished all five he would pay for a sixth. I told him that if 5 didn’t get the taste out of my mouth 6 won’t either.
By now your parents are probably on the same page as you, and/or incredibly uncomfortable. The next step is to bring the conversation back around to how embarrassing the original story must have been and offer to refresh you parents drinks.
Good Luck!
Also for those of you who have not seen I have new shirts in the I make stuff section.
How does one, in a generalized vacuum, discover intrinsic things they like to do when they have “gotten over” things they used to like to do?
-Lori
Lori, according to the Interwebs a generalized vacuum is hyperbolic, but, lucky for you, it has a finite propagation speed. Of course, that is probably not what you meant, so, I am going to assume you mean generalized vacuum in a metaphorical sense.
As a metaphor I infer this vacuum to be a homogenous friend group that isn’t introducing new experiences at a rate faster than the person is burning the old ones out.
Here are some actions to expand beyond the things you have gotten over doing.
Easy Mode:
Advanced Mode:
By the end of this experience you will probably either appreciate your old life or have introduced yourself to something new or painful or some combination of the four.
Recently my girlfriend has been eating really strangely and has been obsessed with food. She is also spending a lot of time in the bathroom and wearing baggy clothes. Does she have an eating disorder?
-Alan Pierce
Ask yourself a few questions; is she keeping a diary of what she eats? Is she being really perfectionist? Is she obsessed with exercise? Those are frequent signs.
One thing that I have notice about girls who have eating disorders is they are really bad about sharing food. I think that is just silly, if you aren’t going to eat your food let me have it. Anyway, many eating disorders stem from control issues. So, those are the really strong clues. Many people display their control issues by trying to control other people’s eating/life to compensate for their feelings of victimization.
But, considering the specific issues you bring up she is probably just pregnant.
Congratulations?
What are some of the easiest to make, most popular, most authentic looking, most palatable recipes for fake vomit?
- Big Dan
Fake vomit? I would use Vegetable Soup and Cornstarch to make it thick. No meat means easier to clean up.
What is the Secret Sauce in a Big Mac?
- Peter
Incredibly disgusting mixed with 1000 Island Dressing.
Why do we dream?
- Anabelle Searer
I was told once that a dream is a wish your heart makes, because your brain is a dick that doesn’t listen to anyone else.
When I was a kid I wanted to be a firefighter. Now I am 20 and I am only 5 foot 6, what can I do?
-Kevin D.
Kevin, if you want to be a firefighter then you need to train really hard. Harder than any of your competition. That means walking around town with a 65 pound pack, every day. You will be up against plenty of people that think that being 6’4″ 250 pounds and squat pressing 400 pounds makes you strong, it doesn’t. What makes you strong in the way that a firefighter needs to be is being able to squat press 6 of those people in quick succession while wearing heat gear and a gas mask.
Get used to a training regime that looks something like this:
You are not going to be the strongest man in the room, but you will get the job if you are the only one standing at the end of the day. You also should have a high school, and preferably college, degree. And while you are at it you also might want to consider radical leg surgery so you can be over 5 foot 8.
But, bear in mind, height surgery is incredibly painful and expensive, and you will lose a whole year of your life to recovering. Apparently there are many methods, most involve slowly extending nails. Anyway good luck.
